Johnny Maverick

The screen is covered in static and an image of a black-hooded white mask covers the screen.

‘THE FOLLOWING BROADCAST IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE FACELESS NEWS NETWORK. THE FACELESS NEWS NETWORK WOULD LIKE TO REMIND IT’S VIEWERS THAT IT IS OKAY TO LIKE SWEET COFFEE WITH ANY FLAVORS YOU WANT AND ANYONE THAT SAYS IT IS ‘GIRLY’ IS CLINGING TO OUTDATED AND TOXIC IDEALS OF MASCULINITY. ALSO, STARBUCKS IS RUN BY LIZARD PEOPLE. AND NOW, HERE IS THE GLORIOUS LEADER.

We cut to Johnny Maverick sitting at a news desk in a hoodie with his white mask pulled down so it’s hanging around his neck. He is talking to someone off-camera.

“I don’t really care how much it costs I just want to hit someone with one! How much could it cost, really? Look into it, I swear one of these days I’m gonna bust out a Saints Row Dildo Bat during a match and….wait, we’re on?” Johnny says, he turns to face the camera and raises an eyebrow.

“Hello there Ladies and Gentlemen, Friends and Neighbors, fellow Vibrations in the mind of the one true God whose name is Love. It is I, Johnny Maverick! Professional Wrestler, Activist, and Tapioca pudding enthusiast! And now the News!” Johnny says.

He picks up a stack of papers to read from, shuffles them a bit to make sure they are in order, then takes out a lighter and sets them on fire before tossing them in the trash can under his desk.

“In local News, Alex Silver who I’m sure is a totally decent guy has had the misfortune of being booked against astoundingly handsome and amazingly talented wrestler Johnny Maverick. We go now to our man on the street to get the news out there.” Johnny says. He stands up and quickly runs off-camera. We cut to a shot of outside the building where Johnny runs out of a door and up to the camera, a little out of breath before being handed a microphone.

“Thank you Johnny, this is Johnny Maverick live out here and the public opinion seems to be that Johnny Maverick is definitely the wrestler these folks want to see win due to his astounding good looks, what do you think sir?” Johnny says, a Hoodie Ninja walks on camera.

“GLORIOUS LEADER IS BEST. GLORIOUS LEADER WILL WIN.” The Hooide Ninja says.

“Okay….maybe an opinion from someone who doesn’t worship me….” Johnny says, a woman passes by.

“Excuse me, ma’am?” Johnny says. The older woman stops.

“Would you agree that Johnny Maverick is going to win his second match in Empire Wrestling?” Johnny asks.

“I don’t know who that is.” The woman says.

“He’s me. I’m him.” Johnny says.

“Oh, well I’m sure you’ll do fine.” She says.

“OVERWHELMING SUPPORT in the streets for Johnny Maverick, back to you!” Johnny says. He stands there a few moments. It is a long awkward pause.

“Wait….shit.” He says, dropping the microphone when he realizes and running back into the door. We cut to a shot of the desk inside and the room is filling with smoke. We hear Johnny run in and we see him grab a fire extinguisher off of the wall and put out the flame roaring in the trash can under his desk before sitting back down in his chair.

“Thanks, Johnny. In other news? Emily Corlen, my ex-wife who is admittedly still really hot, did not answer an open challenge from AJ Adams. Is this a strategy on Emily’s part? Has she decided AJ Adams isn’t worth her time? Has she come to terms with management with a Empire Wrestling contract? Who the hell is management? I asked to speak to management at a show once and woke up handcuffed to a radiator in New Jersey motel with lipstick on my neck and for some reason 300 dollars in quarters on the bed and I know what you’re thinking and NO I don’t drink anymore so this must have been something pretty crazy. Aside from that? Casey Grey has a shot at a title she never actually lost, this company needs tag teams, and there are too many hot men and women in this company and my single brain can’t take it. That’s the news, I guess. I’m probably really bad at this. Stay tuned for more of whatever the hell you want to watch because it’s 2018 and who the fuck actually watches regular tv anymore? Get Hulu you savage.” Johnny says.

“Psychic Warfare is Real. Johnny Maverick, signing out.” Johnny says before the feed goes back to static.

We open on a shot of what seems to be a warehouse with little by way of signage on the outside. It looks more than a little bit run down. The sun is just starting to come up.

-THE MAVERICK COMPOUND. SOMEWHERE IN NEW YORK-

Inside we find Johnny Maverick emerging from his room in pajama pants, a t-shirt, and a house robe. He scratches his facial hair as a passing Hoodie Ninja hands him a cup of coffee and the newspaper but is quite shocked when his younger brother Ollie appears and yanks the newspaper out of his hands.

“Uh, hi?” Johnny says.

“Need Newspaper. Making new tag belts. Do you have any Aluminum foil?” Ollie asks. A Hoodie Ninja hands Ollie aluminum foil and Ollie marches off a raccoon scampering behind him to follow after him. A confused Johnny takes a sip of his coffee before looking up and noticing the cameraman there, remembering he was supposed to film a thing today.

“Oh right…Hi! Welcome to the Maverick Compound! This is where I live amongst my Hoodie Ninjas, train in our amazing gym area, and also it’s where I’ll be planning my 2020 Presidential Run which is a thing that is definitely actually happening.” Johnny says, approaching the camera and taking a seat in front of it in his recliner.

“I’m coming off a loss against FM Young. FM is one hell of a competitor and a good friend of mine so great for her but I’m walking into this upcoming match with something to prove. I’m stepping in the ring with Casey Grey who honestly would have a pretty good case on her hands for getting the title she never lost back if it weren’t the only thing she talked about and AJ Adams who keeps getting punked by my ex-wife. They are both amazing competitors. World class talent. I’m going into this to prove I can still hang with world class talent. FM Young beat me, but that was anyone’s match depending on the night. Really, most importantly of all I lost against FM Young which means I didn’t get any Boo Berry. So AJ and Casey? Keep in mind when you step in the ring with me that DADDY. NEEDS. HIS BOO BERRY.” Johnny says, referencing his previously established rule that he is only allowed to have his favorite cereal if he wins a match.

“If anyone wants to keep me from my Boo Berry? Well they are gonna have hell to pay, let me tell you.” Johnny says, his eye twitching. He snaps himself out of it and smiles.

“Ollie and I both have our statements to make and they will be made in due time but until then? Johnny’s got a main event to win!” Johnny adds with a wink and a point before taking another sip of his coffee.